Healing dysfunctional generational patterns (trauma and wounding) starts by recognizing where and how it shows up in your life and in your current relationships. Below are 5 reasons you might be stuck in repeating dysfunctional generational patterns.
Most of us have some form of all 5 - some might be obvious and others not so much.
Consider and notice the patterns on this list. Think about how they might be showing up in your life.
Your brain is drawn to the "old and familiar", even if that old and familiar is dysfunctional and does not serve you. Repetition Compulsion is our body's way of subconsciously replaying what is unresolved until it is resolved - which is an endless cycle because resolution comes through healing work.
Your younger Adaptive Teen or Wounded Child part is in the drivers seat. This younger part of you is subconsciously running your life - the goal is to get your Functional Adult on board.
You are carrying Generational Emotions. You might be subconsciously carrying your family's emotional weights of shame, guilt, pain, anger, fear and intense feelings of perfectionism, unworthiness, hopelessness, or feeling undeserving.
You are keeping your parents Spiritual Company (even if they are still alive). This means that you are still in union/close with them as long as you live in the same world as them. Separating out of their world to live in freedom and happiness would feel like you are emotionally abandoning your family of origin - which would then leave you feeling emotionally abandoned.
You have a Generational Limiting Belief. You have a subconscious limiting belief which is like a loyalty to the family roots, and if you go against that belief it's kind of like you're turning down a career and walking away from the "family business". There can be shame in having more "success" (better marriage, job, time freedom, etc.) than your parents. And, living outside this generational limiting belief feels very disloyal.
Stay tuned - over the next few weeks I will break down this list and show you how to heal these patterns!
In the meantime, if you’re reading this and you know you need support in working through healing dysfunctional generational patterns reach out here!