Remembering ‘Me’ in the Midst of ‘We’

Whether you are in a new relationship, or have been together for a while, most of us have felt this way at one time or another. Couples (especially couples in new relationships) find it easy to get so wrapped up in each other, that they lose sight of themselves. Yet, losing your identity is not good for you, or the relationship! In order to maintain a healthy relationship with your partner you want to have a solid foundation, and part of building that foundation includes not losing sight of yourself!

Below are tips to remembering ‘Me’ in the midst of ‘We’.

1. Don’t forget to maintain your own interests. Do know that it’s okay for you and your partner to have different interests and hobbies. Keep up with your old hobbies and friends from when you were single, and encourage your partner to do the same. Maintain a healthy balance between doing the things you and your partner enjoy doing together, as well as continuing to do the things you like to do individually.
2. Don’t forget the future goals that you had for yourself when you were single. You will definitely want to talk about future goals and plans together, however, just be mindful of your own personal and career goals. There will be goals and dreams that are negotiable and goals and dreams that are not negotiable. Figure out what you are willing to negotiate or compromise on. After all, you don’t want to feel resentful towards your partner down the road if you had to sacrifice too much.
3. Do establish healthy and meaningful communication patterns. Set aside time to talk with each other about your future goals and dreams. And remember, it is okay to disagree. If you disagree with something your partner is saying respond from a curiosity perspective. Listen with compassion, and take a non-judgmental stance. Ask questions and find out where they are coming from. Ask your partner to show you the same respect when they disagree with you.

Remember: one of the keys to maintaining a healthy relationship is to remember yourself and to keep your own identity. Not only is this healthy for you, it is also healthy for your relationship as well.